- Building a resilient mindset to overcome difficulties
Mindset matters in life. People with a positive resilient mindset are more adaptable tochanges in the world around them and have a higher chance of flourishing after asetback. Do you feel the pressure of always being ‘on guard’ in case things don’t go your way? Ifso, this article will help you to adopt and maintain…
- Conquer fear: Grow beyond your comfort zone limits
Starting down the path of self-exploration, you’ll likely come up against your deepest fears which usually anchor you to what’s known and safe. Growing beyond your comfort zone is not all about grand gestures of bravery; rather, it’s a delicate balancing act where you push limits gently and cultivate your inner strength. In this article,…
- Empowering your well-being: A holistic approach to preventing anxiety
In today’s fast-paced world, anxiety has become a prevalent concern for many. It can manifest in various forms, from the stress of daily life to the anxiety induced by work pressures. This article for Redefine Your Edge will explore a holistic approach to preventing anxiety, offering practical strategies that can help you regain control of…
- How boundaries protect your mental health
If you don’t manage your boundaries, it can feel rather overwhelming, like you don’t have control over yourself and your life and, for the most part, that’s true. Learning how to set boundaries can really go a long way to protect you from being overwhelmed and your mental health. Often clients are nervous about setting…
- Overcoming overload: 7 Effective time management techniques
Feeling like there’s never enough time to get everything done is common and it can leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. If so, it might be helpful to improve your time management skills. Developing good habits is key to effectively managing your schedule at home or at work. With some new strategies and consistent practice,…
- How to find balance in a busy world
In my practice, I often have clients who are so busy they forget why. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of life and maintaining balance in this busy world can be one of the most challenging tasks you face. With the number of personal stressors we all have, long work hours,…
- The art of saying ‘No’: Setting boundaries to combat overwhelm
Have you ever felt like you are unable to handle everything that is going on in your life? Do you struggle to decline requests even if it is in your best interest to say no? Setting boundaries is a crucial life skill that can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed, manage your time more effectively and…
- How to break the cycle of overwhelm
As you navigate through the challenges of modern life, it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly fighting an uphill battle against being overwhelmed. Between juggling multiple responsibilities and striving to meet ever-increasing expectations, it’s no wonder that your emotional and physical wellbeing often takes a back seat. However, it’s important to remember that there are…
- PTSD doesn’t only affect soldiers – It affects workers too!
Many people associate post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) with combat soldiers. But there are many sufferers of PTSD that were never in the military. Any traumatic event can result in PTSD. PTSD is a treatable anxiety disorder affecting around 3 million Australians at some time in their lives. It happens when fear, anxiety and memories of…
- What to do when someone you know experiences a personal trauma
The nature of life is such that, occasionally, we all experience traumatic events. We don’t mean for them to occur – they just do. When a colleague, friend or close family member suffers from an upsetting event, it’s important to know what to do to help them through the aftermath. If you’ve not experienced personal…
- How strengths inform career satisfaction
To have a career that really suits you, you need to first understand your strengths. By that, I don’t mean your knowledge or skills. Those are things you’ve learned and developed and anyone else can do that too. Rather think of strengths as your natural attributes that give you a significant advantage over the next…
- Is it smarter to focus on your strengths or weaknesses?
Depending on who you talk to you most likely get a different answer. You might hear, ‘your weaknesses are holding you back so yes, you should improve them.’ Another might say, ‘forget about your weaknesses and focus on strengthening your strengths.’ Which advice should you follow? Well, really it depends – whether you want to…
- Harnessing the power of overcoming barriers
Overcoming challenges is inevitable in life. No matter how much you try to avoid it, they will eventually come knocking at your door. Sometimes, these challenges can be really stressful and disheartening. When this happens, the last thing you want to do is keep pushing forward — after all, the road ahead isn’t always going…
- The Bright side: Transformation through optimism
The world is full of challenges. From the moment you wake up in the morning until you go to bed, there are so many things that can get you down, from dealing with work issues or personal problems to general unhappiness. Even though it may not feel like it right now, things will get better….
- Financial stress can be a powerful motivator for reinvention
Unlocking your hidden potential can be an exciting journey but for many it starts with a push; whether that’s losing a job, home, or a significant relationship. It starts by being forced to think differently about your situation, recognizing the opportunities in front of you and understanding how to make the most of them. By…
- Adapting to the unfamiliar: Strategies for navigating change
I remember many years ago sitting in an auditorium listening to the CIO of the day who was talking about change. He started his talk by asking us to change one thing about ourselves as we were sitting listening to him. ‘That’s easy’, I thought. I’ll take off my watch. Then he asked us to…
- Is too much joy bad for you?
Wanting to feel more positive emotions is usually the reason why people come to therapy. Whether it’s to get over an ex, process grief or feel more confident. However, humans are a species of moderation as research shows that too much of anything for a prolonged period, even experiencing too much joy, can be harmful. …
- I am happy, so why I can’t I feel joy?
Often clients book in to see me because they are confused about how they feel. They describe themselves as having a positive outlook, reasonably successful and having a supportive friendship group yet experiencing joy eludes them. What are they doing wrong? You don’t have to be doing anything wrong to feel this way. Experiencing happiness…
- Finding joy in the moments of life
“I know something is amiss because last Christmas I was happy and this Christmas just gone, I felt flat. I struggled to feel anything positive or joyous. I want to understand what’s going on and how I can feel like my old self again.” James shared in our first counselling session. “I am generally a…
- How to experience joy regardless of your situation
Many situations in life are beyond our immediate control Some things are unpredictable and unavoidable, like the cost of living and the weather. However, your mindset is something that you can absolutely learn to control 100%. With practice, your mindset can be whatever you choose it to be. This is a powerful realisation and an…
- How anger affects your body
Anger is an emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and awkward response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat. Anger, like other emotions, has layers and can be experienced in three different ways; cognition via an appraisal of the situation; bodily experience via tension and agitations; and, behavioural via withdrawal or antagonism. Although anger is…
- Getting to know your anger triggers
Anger is not a new emotion. Charles Darwin wrote about it more than a century ago, and even then, it was considered an adaptive emotion for humans and animals. Anger as an emotion has survived generations through a process of natural selection, and it still plays a significant role in everyday life. That being the…
- Self-directed anger can be more harmful than other forms of anger
Anger is a multi-faceted emotion and often it is adaptive and while it has a positive intention for you, holding on to it can be harmful to you. However, when anger is directed at yourself for any length of time that is beyond its purpose, it becomes maladaptive and harmful to your mental health. What…
- Feeling angry and menopausal? Here’s what you can do
Anger is a natural emotion and menopause is a natural stage of life for women. Menopause describes the point of transition from a woman’s reproductive to non-reproductive life stage. However, if anger is left If left untreated, anger during this transition can increase one’s risk of developing depression. When does menopause happen? Menopause is a process…
- Anger: A misunderstood emotion
We have all experienced anger at one time or another, and contrary to popular belief it can be healthy to get angry. It only becomes problematic or unhealthy when the feeling is continual or lasts for periods of time where it impacts relationships, work performance, legal standing, or mental health. What is anger: a mood…
- Why you need to forgive others when they hurt you, even if you don’t want to
When someone has wronged you, forgiveness may be the last thing on your mind. You’re convinced they deserve all the anger and hostility you can muster. However, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Does your anger harm the other person? In most cases, the other person avoids you and doesn’t get to experience…
- How to forgive yourself when you still feel guilty, and the other person has forgiven you
Only narcissists and sociopaths are able to completely avoid guilt. Feelings of guilt can be distressing and draining. There doesn’t seem to be an easy remedy. You’ve done or said something you regret. You’re uncomfortable without an obvious solution. What can you do about it now? What is guilt? Guilt is a moral emotion that arises…
- Ways to develop your inner strength to protect you against burnout
Stress and pressure These two things are inseparable because when pressure is applied to anything or anyone, it can cause stress. For adults, stress is a real paradox. Incidences that place our minds and body under stress, up to a manageable point, and from which we have the time and circumstances to resolve from and…
- Suffering from mental burnout or depression as a knowledge worker?
Mental burnout and depression are both serious conditions that affect many knowledge workers. According to a 2019 report by Safe Work Australia, mental stress, including depression and anxiety, was a leading cause of work-related health problems among Australian workers, including knowledge workers. The report stated that 92% of work-related mental health condition claims were attributed…
- Beyond burnout: How prioritising work-life balance can boost your resilience
On International Women’s Day, last week, I had the opportunity to present on the Art of Work-Life Balance to a group of women located across South-East Asia. for a client. In preparation for the presentation, I tried to find a definition of work-life balance and found there isn’t a shared definition. So, I went with…
- Achieving consistency: Tips & tricks
“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne Johnson When it comes to success, consistency is key. Whether you’re looking to make progress in your career, relationships, or any other aspect of life, staying consistent in your actions is essential. Consistency allows you to…
- How to listen to your intuition and follow your instincts
Everyone has intuition, but not everyone listens to it. It’s usually because they don’t know how to tap into their instinct and recognize when it’s appropriate to trust it. For those who ignore it, they may feel that their intuition has got them into trouble in the past and let them down, so ignoring it…
- Reclaim your life: The benefits of reinventing yourself
In our society, it’s easy to feel like you need to constantly be proving yourself and your abilities. We’re told from an early age that we need to succeed in order to feel worthy of being loved, and that we shouldn’t trust anyone until we’ve proven ourselves. But what if the opposite was true? And…
- Finding the love of your life doesn’t have to be hard
Often, when a client comes in and asks, “What’s wrong with me, why can’t I find someone to settle down with?” I often find myself asking, “What have you tried so far?” to which they usually reply with a whole list of activities that have not lead to any meaningful relationship but rather a series…
- Rekindling intimacy & romance in your relationship when you both have limited time
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the divorce rate in Australia has been steadily declining since the mid-1980s. In 2020, the divorce rate was 2 divorces per 1,000. The average length of marriage at divorce was 12.2 years. While these statistics may not accurately reflect the full picture of the divorce landscape, as many…
- How failure teaches you to be more flexible
“The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm.” – Confucius Researchers and scholars often point to this quote by Confucius as the basis for why it’s necessary to be flexible to overcome challenges. The flexible reed bends and flows with the wind of adversity,…
- The reasons we develop bad habits and why they’re so hard to break
Why we develop bad habits Have you ever found yourself engaging in a bad habit and wondering why you can’t seem to stop? Unfortunately, it’s common to fall into bad habits – whether it’s procrastination, unhealthy eating, or neglecting self-care. In your quest for self-improvement, know that discovering and understanding the underlying reasons for these…
- Rewarding yourself is key to developing self-discipline
If I had a dollar for every time a client lamented to me that they lacked self-discipline, I’d be a very wealthy person right now. Everyone feels overwhelmed and bogged down by the things they need to get done each day. You’re not alone. Sometimes, you just don’t want to do anything – certainly not…
- Finish 2023 strong by taking care of yourself
No matter how you divide up the 2023 calendar year, there are still 365 days in it. If you work full-time with 21 days of annual leave, you’ll have 245 working days to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve professionally, and a little bit more time for what you want to achieve personally….
- How to set and keep New Year’s resolutions
As the last weeks of the year are approaching, many people are thinking about food, family gatherings, and new beginnings. That’s why so many people make New Year’s Resolutions. It’s a fresh start, right? Unfortunately, for most people, the resolve to keep those resolutions usually dies off after a few weeks. In fact, 23% quit…
- How to be mindful during the holidays
The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, and even more so when you are in charge of hosting a holiday party, having family stay with you, are experiencing financial constraints, or have a lot of responsibilities. Never mind trying to meet work deadlines while all of this is looming. This can all take…
- 5 Secrets to self-motivation
Why is it that motivating others is easy, but you struggle to motivate yourself? There’s always another distraction to divert you from what you need to be doing; another task that needs to be done; another deadline that needs to be met. Somewhere else to divert your energy. You need to learn how to do…
- How gratitude writing practices help to manage anxiety
Gratitude is a powerful practice, especially when it’s practised regularly. Research is continuing to uncover the benefits of gratitude and the various mental and physical benefits it has on us. Let’s look at a few of those to give you an idea of what you can expect if you start to focus on experiencing gratitude…
- 7 Strategies to stop making excuses for not taking action on your big goals
Are you the master of making excuses? Do you have a reason ready for every conversation when you’re asked why you haven’t taken any action towards your Big Goals yet? If so, it’s time to take action. Those Big Goals have waited in the wings long enough. Today is the day your life changes for…
- When conflict isn’t bullying but a difference of opinion
Successful people have learned how to handle conflict in the workplace. They deal with it like any other situation, calmly and judiciously. They see it as an opportunity to learn more about the other person and figure out how they can use the experience to progress the situation and meet their goals. Many people, however;…
- Looking to change jobs? Do your due diligence or risk experiencing workplace bullying
According to statistics 9.5% of the Australian workforce changed their employer or the business they operated in the year to February 2022. This is the highest annual turnover rate since 2012, and it represents a 7.5% increase compared to February 2021. This is what the great resignation was referring to. We all knew that coming…
- Life after a breakup: Landing on your feet
Someone once said that to move on after a relationship takes half the time you spent together. So, if you were in a one-year relationship, it’s okay if you take six months to reflect, reminisce and heal. Yet, that can be hard if the breakup was a surprise that you didn’t see coming. Often when…
- Co-dependence will set you back, no matter the area of life
It’s hard to know the prevalence of co-dependent relationships as it is not exclusively found in romantic relationships or where there is addiction. It can occur wherever there is a relational dynamic, i.e., at work, in friendships, romantic relationships, and family relationships. What is co-dependency? Co-dependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person assumes…
- Fierce independence could be blocking your efforts to connect with others (both in and outside of work)
In my practice I often see clients who are struggling along the interdependent – independent continuum. Often, they’re over-collaborative with little independence (co-dependent) or they’re perceived as insensitive by exercising too much independence (fierce independence). It’s a continual struggle for them to find the right mix of asserting their needs and being mindful of the…
- 6 Strategies to consider when making life changing decisions
Have you been sitting on a decision hoping that the answer will emerge only to find that waiting for it is making you feel more agitated and upset? That is how many of my clients feel before they book in to see me. In the last couple of weeks, I have started working with a…
- Why people pleasers need a bucket list
Are you a people pleaser? We all want to be liked right? Yes, and some of us want to be liked more than others. It’s only natural. However, if you find yourself turning yourself inside out to get in the good books of others, to be included or well-regarded and to avoid negative feedback, then…
- Quiet quitting is the quickest way to erode your mental health
What is quiet quitting? Quiet quitting, while there is no universal definition for it, is understood to be fulfilling the requirements of the role and not going above and beyond. It is an intentional choice. In performance management terms it’s ‘meeting expectations, just.’ So, you are carrying out the tasks outlined in your job description…
- How the lack of self-care can lead to an unhappy life
Self-care is often seen as a luxury, but did you know it can lead to a longer, happier life? Without self-care, you’re likely to end up feeling stressed, tired, and generally unhappy. Below, I share with you 5 Ways a lack of self-care can lead to an unhappy life. You will also learn some of…
- Shh, Silence is golden, and speech is silver
In a world of constant activity with a steady onslaught of attention-grabbing distractions, the idea of a silent mind can seem like a distant and unlikely possibility. However, the need for silence is profound and can be crucial across life circumstances. As children we were often told by my mum ‘Shh, silence is golden”, I’d…
- Get unstuck and grow your comfort zone
If you’re feeling stuck, things might feel overwhelming or even hopeless. Your to-do list may feel like an ever-growing one with nothing getting ticked off. You may even be behind at work or secretly worrying about how you are going to get it all done. If any of this is familiar, you’re not alone, and…
- Quitting your job doesn’t have to be a bad thing
We live in a world where being known as a quitter is nothing to be proud of. Tenure is often rewarded with envy and valued as part of an accomplished lifestyle. Staying the course is often held up as a symbol of success and as exhausting as it may be, it’s always perceived more favorably…
- How to overcome distractions at work when you really need to focus
The average full-time worker loses more than 50 hours every month due to workplace distractions and that’s not even considering distractions outside of work. This is a lot! If you think that’s not you, then maybe this will resonate, the average person gets interrupted every 8 minutes at work, which can be up to 60…
- 10 Ways to incorporate mindfulness in your life
Mindfulness is a skill that can be learned by anyone; you don’t need to be a specific type of person to be good at it and nor do you need to hold certain beliefs for it to be effective for you. As one of my teachers told me, “You don’t have to like it, you…
- Too much busyness is an obstacle to a good night’s sleep
Busyness is not a virtue, nor is it a sign of productivity. And nowadays it’s also not a guaranteed sign of success either. In London, I used to work with a retail CEO who regularly reminded me that if anyone said they were very busy or too busy, it was a sign they hadn’t yet…
- What does self-acceptance actually mean?
So often I find myself explaining to clients that the first step in overcoming their hurt or disappointment is accepting the situation, and their part in how they got there. And for many that is the hardest part of their transformation because self-acceptance requires you to recognize your imperfections and accept them for what they…
- Maintaining momentum as you celebrate your achievements
Beware the gap between achieving and re-focusing your energies on new goals. For every person who sets goals, there inevitably comes a time when they need to review them, tick them off and set some more goals. And I am no different. The past 3 months have been incredibly productive for me, and I have…
- Calling all busy people – stop, celebrate and build resilience
As we near the end of the financial year, it is customary to plan to celebrate the last financial year with colleagues, and for good reason. Celebrations enable you to take stock, acknowledge your contribution and it provides you with hope for the future. It shows appreciation and provides an opportunity for connection. If you…
- Is workplace clutter meddling with your sleep?
I remember the days when the office health and safety officer would walk the office floor and let people know if their clutter, usually papers, were considered a trip hazard or worse. As part of the conversation, they would also be given a timeframe by when it needed to tidied up, either by shredding it,…
- Is your toxic relationship affecting your sleep?
The focus on sleep continues to grow. Whether you see it reported in the press, on TV or in a social media post, the message is clear – sleep is extremely important. Sleep is a dynamic activity that we need, to sustain our daily functioning and our physical and mental health. The quality of your…
- Emotional crying can be a response to overwhelm
You might remember back when you were a child to how your mother or carer always told you to stop crying. You’ve probably heard a parent at some time in your life tell you, “Stop that crying, it doesn’t do any good” or “Stop crying or else I’ll give you something to cry about!” The…
- Overcome social anxiety and network like a boss
The world is moving on post-pandemic and face to face networking events are returning. For the confident extrovert that’s music to their ears. For the socially anxious it can be a terrifying thought. Of course, we’re all a little out of practice thanks to working from home and attending events online but it won’t take…
- How unresolved regrets increase your stress levels
There is enough to stress about in life without adding the stress of regret. Regret is a normal emotional experience which arises when you are dissatisfied with an outcome, when you perceive that a better outcome was available to you. Another way of considering regret is that it is a painful emotion, accompanied by actual or…
- Successful career + mental health diagnosis. It’s possible
Are you concerned that a mental health diagnosis for you would sound the end of your career? If you are concerned that having a mental health diagnosis will negatively impact your career opportunities, you needn’t be. I have been fortunate enough to work with many successful people who have had mental health diagnoses and in…
- Laugh your way to less stress
When was the last time you were relaxed enough to laugh at something? Not just any laugh, but one of those deep belly laughs that reduced you to tears! If you are among the many adults who have a hard time relaxing, you’ll be surprised to know that there are real health benefits to laughing,…
- Prioritise your relationship with stress to succeed
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you are ever going to have. It influences your other relationships, and it sets the tone for how you treat yourself and allow others to treat you. Your second most important relationship, if you want to do well, is how you manage stressors. Stress…
- Workplace stress and sleep problems: they’re connected
Intuitively you know that stress and sleep are closely linked yet your inability to combine these two areas of knowledge can prevent you from taking either of them seriously. In this article I am going to take you through how they impact each other so you understand the risk of not dealing with either. What…
- How to de-stress at work so you sleep better
Work-related stress occurs when the perceived demands of your work exceed your belief that you are able and capable to meet them. It can be easy to under-estimate the impact of your daily work stress however beware as work-related stress is the second most common compensated illness/injury in Australia, after musculoskeletal disorders. You are experiencing stress when you…
- Is Workplace PTSD waking you up at night?
You may not think much about waking up during the night, however if it becomes a regular occurrence, e.g. 4 out of 7 nights for a couple of weeks, then you may want to investigate it further. If normal sleep doesn’t return after a week then you are starting to embed a new sleep pattern…
- Identifying YOUR anxiety triggers to make life easier
Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time. Afterall there are always going to be unexpected circumstances that come up in life that leave you feeling more worried, scared, or anxious than usual. Experiencing anxiety is part of being human and it may surprise you to hear that it is a normal process designed to get…
- Is toxic positivity stopping you from making the changes you REALLY need to make?
Do you often find yourself saying ‘It’s not that bad, it could be worse’, or you might even catch yourself saying to a friend, “I don’t like my job but at least I have one!” These are both examples of toxic positivity. What is the meaning of toxic positivity? Toxic positivity is defined as the act…
- The best morning routine for a productive day
If you have been doing the same things every morning for years and are happy with it because it totally empowers you and puts you in a positive and optimistic frame of mind every time, then you probably don’t need a new or updated morning routine. However, if you could do with some extra energy,…
- 5 Ways goal setting leads to success, no matter who you are
It’s that time of year when aspiring individuals reflect on the past year and re-focus on how to make positive changes this coming year. Recognising what worked and what didn’t. Not going to be you? Think carefully about your decision. By deciding not to set goals you’re setting yourself up to another year of the…
- Goal setting: 5 Mistakes smart people make
Have you considered your goals for 2022 yet? Goals provide an objective standard to which you can evaluate your success. They also help you stay motivated and provide focus to increase the likelihood of you reaching those goals. Some people think the planning stage is boring and unnecessary but even successful people who prefer the…
- 6 Holiday stressors to watch out for this holiday season
The holiday season is always a time of great excitement, thankfulness, and (hopefully) relaxation, but there are also a variety of reasons why the most wonderful time of the year may leave some feeling stressed out. During the holidays, it’s important to monitor your stress levels and ensure that you’re having an enjoyable and restful…
- 6 Ways to calm YOUR fight or flight response these holidays
If the thought of social get-togethers leave you feeling anxious, then you need to learn how fight or flight works in your body, so you can calm your fight or flight response when you’re with others. These holidays you may be catching up on socializing, and you may even be celebrating the holidays in large…
- 12 Ways to undo holiday sadness, naturally
Are you feeling sad about the upcoming summer holidays because they’re going to look different to what you thought they might be? Perhaps you’re unable to meet up with friends and family you haven’t seen for a while due to travel restrictions, or perhaps this time of year is just a sad time for you…
- How to start speaking up for yourself at work
It’s no secret that people who speak up at work are viewed as more likeable by their peers, enjoy higher status and are perceived to be better performers by those more senior than them (Burris, 2012; Weiss & Morrison, 2019). Often staying quiet and ignoring your feelings is an adaptive response to blending in and not…
- 10 Signs you’re not standing up for yourself at work
How many times have you got cranky with yourself for not speaking up? Or perhaps, you chose not to say something in an effort to avoid a difficult conversation. In my experience working with smart, well-mannered people, this is a common problem. Jenny loved her job. She thought her manager was a wonderful person and she’d…
- Reduce stress at work in 9 quick and easy creative ways
In order to prevent unhealthy stress at work you need a toolkit of quick and easy, trusted stress relief activities that you can do on your own to move you along your stress curve. It’s no secret that work-related stress contributes to corporate inefficiency, high staff turnover, absenteeism, decreased quality and quantity output and increased…
- How to overcome perfectionism at work
Being a perfectionist is like living with an internal genie. A genie that never sleeps. It constantly reminds you that only the best is good enough, continuous improvement is mandatory, giving up is not an option and nobody likes someone who brags. It’s an exhausting place to be. The funny thing is that for many…
- Breaking and changing habits successfully
If you’re like most people who struggle to make changes and make them a habit, then you’re always on the lookout for a better way to achieve your goals. But it seems like you’re setting yourself up for disappointment each time. In this article I am going to show you how you can make the…
- How to declutter your mind
Ever felt like if you had to make another decision your head would explode? That’s sign you need to declutter your mind. Decluttering your life and becoming organized starts with one important but easily-overlooked step. You need to declutter your mind first. If your home and office looked anything like mine last week, it is…
- How to change your habits for the better
If changing habits were easy, there wouldn’t be so many books written on the topic and I would be out of a job! As you notice signs of the loosening of lockdown, you can allow yourself to imagine your life post lockdown. While you may have struggled through the physical distancing, reduced socialising and managing…
- A loved one receives a life altering diagnosis, what to do next
Upheaval. We’ve all experienced it. Sometimes it comes at us from outside, completely and utterly beyond our control. Think about pandemics, tornadoes, or stock market crashes. Sometimes it hits very close to home, such as when someone you love receives a terrifying diagnosis, or when you experience a death in the family. Picture for a…
- 9 Benefits of setting boundaries at work
It’s often easier said than done. Setting and maintaining boundaries can be hard when others are accustomed to you not having any. Whether we like to admit it or not, people take advantage of other people. In my practice I have seen an increase in professionals seeking assistance for languishing and falling out of love…
- Taming your inner critic while languishing
We all have our own set of values that guide our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Often, we don’t acknowledge them until someone has crossed that invisible line. Having an awareness of your values can be positive as they’re incredibly helpful to make good choices. However, there’s also a risk of getting over-enthusiastic and expecting yourself…
- 5 Reasons to go to counselling unrelated to mental illness
Having successfully navigated several milestones and transitions in your life, you’re finally able to enjoy the fruits of your labour without the angst. But, then, out of the blue, a trusted friend suggests counselling. You feel anger rising to your throat, there’s nothing wrong! I’m not ill. Or are you? Before you shut the conversation down,…
- Listening to your body wisdom
Your body is a marvelous creation! It speaks to you when it’s doing great, and it also speaks to you when things aren’t so wonderful. And that’s the beauty of it – your body gives a ton of signals to let you know it’s in need of something so you can do what’s necessary to…
- Time to upgrade your coping strategies?
Everyone has their own ‘go-to’ strategies for maintaining healthy mental health however when we experience sustained stress, those strategies may no longer be enough. Even the most disciplined, may struggle and, need to consider additional strategies to maintain their overall wellbeing. As a psychotherapist I speak to a number of people every day who are…
- What’s YOUR pandemic emerging curriculum?
As I write this, I am reminded of a well-known retreat leader who started a 7-day silent retreat with, “I have no plans of what to talk about this week, you each have needs and so I am going to use the emerging curriculum to guide our experience together.” Well, you can imagine the looks…
- Advantages of behaviour based goals
Everyone said 2021 was going to be a better year. And it certainly looked like it until a couple of months ago. My hometown of Sydney has been in lockdown for a number of weeks and it has forced me to re-evaluate how I set my goals, as some of them won’t be met, and…
- De-stress with mindful colouring
This Sydney lockdown, I have found myself itching to craft and colour. Something I haven’t done in a while. Last week I dusted off my colouring pencils and printed off some mandalas and set about colouring for a couple of hours. It was heavenly! Mindful colouring burst onto the scene almost 20 years ago and…
- 3 Quick and easy steps to build self-confidence at work
Do you ever doubt yourself? Do you doubt you can do whatever it is you’ve set out to do? It’s perfectly normal. We all do it. Self-doubt is something anyone faces at some point in their life. And for some of us it can be a real struggle. When self-doubt – which is defined as…
- How to communicate feelings to deepen relationships
Have you ever held back on saying something because you didn’t want to upset someone else? If you’re unsure whether to make that ask, provide that feedback or be vulnerable, listen to that indecision – take a moment to decide what to do next. The internal debate that happens can be useful when your intention…
- Why most defence mechanisms fail
In psychoanalytic theory, a defence mechanism is an unconscious psychological process that occurs to protect a person from anxiety-producing thoughts and feelings related to internal conflicts and outer stressors. The goal of these defence mechanisms is to separate the person from the unpleasant events, actions, or thoughts. They help people to distance themselves from threats…
Mindset matters in life. People with a positive resilient mindset are more adaptable tochanges in the world around them and have a higher chance of flourishing after asetback. Do you feel the pressure of always being ‘on guard’ in case things don’t go your way? Ifso, this article will help you to adopt and maintain…
Starting down the path of self-exploration, you’ll likely come up against your deepest fears which usually anchor you to what’s known and safe. Growing beyond your comfort zone is not all about grand gestures of bravery; rather, it’s a delicate balancing act where you push limits gently and cultivate your inner strength. In this article,…
In today’s fast-paced world, anxiety has become a prevalent concern for many. It can manifest in various forms, from the stress of daily life to the anxiety induced by work pressures. This article for Redefine Your Edge will explore a holistic approach to preventing anxiety, offering practical strategies that can help you regain control of…
If you don’t manage your boundaries, it can feel rather overwhelming, like you don’t have control over yourself and your life and, for the most part, that’s true. Learning how to set boundaries can really go a long way to protect you from being overwhelmed and your mental health. Often clients are nervous about setting…
Feeling like there’s never enough time to get everything done is common and it can leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. If so, it might be helpful to improve your time management skills. Developing good habits is key to effectively managing your schedule at home or at work. With some new strategies and consistent practice,…
In my practice, I often have clients who are so busy they forget why. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of life and maintaining balance in this busy world can be one of the most challenging tasks you face. With the number of personal stressors we all have, long work hours,…
Have you ever felt like you are unable to handle everything that is going on in your life? Do you struggle to decline requests even if it is in your best interest to say no? Setting boundaries is a crucial life skill that can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed, manage your time more effectively and…
As you navigate through the challenges of modern life, it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly fighting an uphill battle against being overwhelmed. Between juggling multiple responsibilities and striving to meet ever-increasing expectations, it’s no wonder that your emotional and physical wellbeing often takes a back seat. However, it’s important to remember that there are…
Many people associate post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) with combat soldiers. But there are many sufferers of PTSD that were never in the military. Any traumatic event can result in PTSD. PTSD is a treatable anxiety disorder affecting around 3 million Australians at some time in their lives. It happens when fear, anxiety and memories of…
The nature of life is such that, occasionally, we all experience traumatic events. We don’t mean for them to occur – they just do. When a colleague, friend or close family member suffers from an upsetting event, it’s important to know what to do to help them through the aftermath. If you’ve not experienced personal…
To have a career that really suits you, you need to first understand your strengths. By that, I don’t mean your knowledge or skills. Those are things you’ve learned and developed and anyone else can do that too. Rather think of strengths as your natural attributes that give you a significant advantage over the next…
Depending on who you talk to you most likely get a different answer. You might hear, ‘your weaknesses are holding you back so yes, you should improve them.’ Another might say, ‘forget about your weaknesses and focus on strengthening your strengths.’ Which advice should you follow? Well, really it depends – whether you want to…
Overcoming challenges is inevitable in life. No matter how much you try to avoid it, they will eventually come knocking at your door. Sometimes, these challenges can be really stressful and disheartening. When this happens, the last thing you want to do is keep pushing forward — after all, the road ahead isn’t always going…
The world is full of challenges. From the moment you wake up in the morning until you go to bed, there are so many things that can get you down, from dealing with work issues or personal problems to general unhappiness. Even though it may not feel like it right now, things will get better….
Unlocking your hidden potential can be an exciting journey but for many it starts with a push; whether that’s losing a job, home, or a significant relationship. It starts by being forced to think differently about your situation, recognizing the opportunities in front of you and understanding how to make the most of them. By…
I remember many years ago sitting in an auditorium listening to the CIO of the day who was talking about change. He started his talk by asking us to change one thing about ourselves as we were sitting listening to him. ‘That’s easy’, I thought. I’ll take off my watch. Then he asked us to…
Wanting to feel more positive emotions is usually the reason why people come to therapy. Whether it’s to get over an ex, process grief or feel more confident. However, humans are a species of moderation as research shows that too much of anything for a prolonged period, even experiencing too much joy, can be harmful. …
Often clients book in to see me because they are confused about how they feel. They describe themselves as having a positive outlook, reasonably successful and having a supportive friendship group yet experiencing joy eludes them. What are they doing wrong? You don’t have to be doing anything wrong to feel this way. Experiencing happiness…
“I know something is amiss because last Christmas I was happy and this Christmas just gone, I felt flat. I struggled to feel anything positive or joyous. I want to understand what’s going on and how I can feel like my old self again.” James shared in our first counselling session. “I am generally a…
Many situations in life are beyond our immediate control Some things are unpredictable and unavoidable, like the cost of living and the weather. However, your mindset is something that you can absolutely learn to control 100%. With practice, your mindset can be whatever you choose it to be. This is a powerful realisation and an…
Anger is an emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and awkward response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat. Anger, like other emotions, has layers and can be experienced in three different ways; cognition via an appraisal of the situation; bodily experience via tension and agitations; and, behavioural via withdrawal or antagonism. Although anger is…
Anger is not a new emotion. Charles Darwin wrote about it more than a century ago, and even then, it was considered an adaptive emotion for humans and animals. Anger as an emotion has survived generations through a process of natural selection, and it still plays a significant role in everyday life. That being the…
Anger is a multi-faceted emotion and often it is adaptive and while it has a positive intention for you, holding on to it can be harmful to you. However, when anger is directed at yourself for any length of time that is beyond its purpose, it becomes maladaptive and harmful to your mental health. What…
Anger is a natural emotion and menopause is a natural stage of life for women. Menopause describes the point of transition from a woman’s reproductive to non-reproductive life stage. However, if anger is left If left untreated, anger during this transition can increase one’s risk of developing depression. When does menopause happen? Menopause is a process…
We have all experienced anger at one time or another, and contrary to popular belief it can be healthy to get angry. It only becomes problematic or unhealthy when the feeling is continual or lasts for periods of time where it impacts relationships, work performance, legal standing, or mental health. What is anger: a mood…
When someone has wronged you, forgiveness may be the last thing on your mind. You’re convinced they deserve all the anger and hostility you can muster. However, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Does your anger harm the other person? In most cases, the other person avoids you and doesn’t get to experience…
Only narcissists and sociopaths are able to completely avoid guilt. Feelings of guilt can be distressing and draining. There doesn’t seem to be an easy remedy. You’ve done or said something you regret. You’re uncomfortable without an obvious solution. What can you do about it now? What is guilt? Guilt is a moral emotion that arises…
Stress and pressure These two things are inseparable because when pressure is applied to anything or anyone, it can cause stress. For adults, stress is a real paradox. Incidences that place our minds and body under stress, up to a manageable point, and from which we have the time and circumstances to resolve from and…
Mental burnout and depression are both serious conditions that affect many knowledge workers. According to a 2019 report by Safe Work Australia, mental stress, including depression and anxiety, was a leading cause of work-related health problems among Australian workers, including knowledge workers. The report stated that 92% of work-related mental health condition claims were attributed…
On International Women’s Day, last week, I had the opportunity to present on the Art of Work-Life Balance to a group of women located across South-East Asia. for a client. In preparation for the presentation, I tried to find a definition of work-life balance and found there isn’t a shared definition. So, I went with…
“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne Johnson When it comes to success, consistency is key. Whether you’re looking to make progress in your career, relationships, or any other aspect of life, staying consistent in your actions is essential. Consistency allows you to…
Everyone has intuition, but not everyone listens to it. It’s usually because they don’t know how to tap into their instinct and recognize when it’s appropriate to trust it. For those who ignore it, they may feel that their intuition has got them into trouble in the past and let them down, so ignoring it…
In our society, it’s easy to feel like you need to constantly be proving yourself and your abilities. We’re told from an early age that we need to succeed in order to feel worthy of being loved, and that we shouldn’t trust anyone until we’ve proven ourselves. But what if the opposite was true? And…
Often, when a client comes in and asks, “What’s wrong with me, why can’t I find someone to settle down with?” I often find myself asking, “What have you tried so far?” to which they usually reply with a whole list of activities that have not lead to any meaningful relationship but rather a series…
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the divorce rate in Australia has been steadily declining since the mid-1980s. In 2020, the divorce rate was 2 divorces per 1,000. The average length of marriage at divorce was 12.2 years. While these statistics may not accurately reflect the full picture of the divorce landscape, as many…
“The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm.” – Confucius Researchers and scholars often point to this quote by Confucius as the basis for why it’s necessary to be flexible to overcome challenges. The flexible reed bends and flows with the wind of adversity,…
Why we develop bad habits Have you ever found yourself engaging in a bad habit and wondering why you can’t seem to stop? Unfortunately, it’s common to fall into bad habits – whether it’s procrastination, unhealthy eating, or neglecting self-care. In your quest for self-improvement, know that discovering and understanding the underlying reasons for these…
If I had a dollar for every time a client lamented to me that they lacked self-discipline, I’d be a very wealthy person right now. Everyone feels overwhelmed and bogged down by the things they need to get done each day. You’re not alone. Sometimes, you just don’t want to do anything – certainly not…
No matter how you divide up the 2023 calendar year, there are still 365 days in it. If you work full-time with 21 days of annual leave, you’ll have 245 working days to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve professionally, and a little bit more time for what you want to achieve personally….
As the last weeks of the year are approaching, many people are thinking about food, family gatherings, and new beginnings. That’s why so many people make New Year’s Resolutions. It’s a fresh start, right? Unfortunately, for most people, the resolve to keep those resolutions usually dies off after a few weeks. In fact, 23% quit…
The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, and even more so when you are in charge of hosting a holiday party, having family stay with you, are experiencing financial constraints, or have a lot of responsibilities. Never mind trying to meet work deadlines while all of this is looming. This can all take…
Why is it that motivating others is easy, but you struggle to motivate yourself? There’s always another distraction to divert you from what you need to be doing; another task that needs to be done; another deadline that needs to be met. Somewhere else to divert your energy. You need to learn how to do…
Gratitude is a powerful practice, especially when it’s practised regularly. Research is continuing to uncover the benefits of gratitude and the various mental and physical benefits it has on us. Let’s look at a few of those to give you an idea of what you can expect if you start to focus on experiencing gratitude…
Are you the master of making excuses? Do you have a reason ready for every conversation when you’re asked why you haven’t taken any action towards your Big Goals yet? If so, it’s time to take action. Those Big Goals have waited in the wings long enough. Today is the day your life changes for…
Successful people have learned how to handle conflict in the workplace. They deal with it like any other situation, calmly and judiciously. They see it as an opportunity to learn more about the other person and figure out how they can use the experience to progress the situation and meet their goals. Many people, however;…
According to statistics 9.5% of the Australian workforce changed their employer or the business they operated in the year to February 2022. This is the highest annual turnover rate since 2012, and it represents a 7.5% increase compared to February 2021. This is what the great resignation was referring to. We all knew that coming…
Someone once said that to move on after a relationship takes half the time you spent together. So, if you were in a one-year relationship, it’s okay if you take six months to reflect, reminisce and heal. Yet, that can be hard if the breakup was a surprise that you didn’t see coming. Often when…
It’s hard to know the prevalence of co-dependent relationships as it is not exclusively found in romantic relationships or where there is addiction. It can occur wherever there is a relational dynamic, i.e., at work, in friendships, romantic relationships, and family relationships. What is co-dependency? Co-dependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person assumes…
In my practice I often see clients who are struggling along the interdependent – independent continuum. Often, they’re over-collaborative with little independence (co-dependent) or they’re perceived as insensitive by exercising too much independence (fierce independence). It’s a continual struggle for them to find the right mix of asserting their needs and being mindful of the…
Have you been sitting on a decision hoping that the answer will emerge only to find that waiting for it is making you feel more agitated and upset? That is how many of my clients feel before they book in to see me. In the last couple of weeks, I have started working with a…
Are you a people pleaser? We all want to be liked right? Yes, and some of us want to be liked more than others. It’s only natural. However, if you find yourself turning yourself inside out to get in the good books of others, to be included or well-regarded and to avoid negative feedback, then…
What is quiet quitting? Quiet quitting, while there is no universal definition for it, is understood to be fulfilling the requirements of the role and not going above and beyond. It is an intentional choice. In performance management terms it’s ‘meeting expectations, just.’ So, you are carrying out the tasks outlined in your job description…
Self-care is often seen as a luxury, but did you know it can lead to a longer, happier life? Without self-care, you’re likely to end up feeling stressed, tired, and generally unhappy. Below, I share with you 5 Ways a lack of self-care can lead to an unhappy life. You will also learn some of…
In a world of constant activity with a steady onslaught of attention-grabbing distractions, the idea of a silent mind can seem like a distant and unlikely possibility. However, the need for silence is profound and can be crucial across life circumstances. As children we were often told by my mum ‘Shh, silence is golden”, I’d…
If you’re feeling stuck, things might feel overwhelming or even hopeless. Your to-do list may feel like an ever-growing one with nothing getting ticked off. You may even be behind at work or secretly worrying about how you are going to get it all done. If any of this is familiar, you’re not alone, and…
We live in a world where being known as a quitter is nothing to be proud of. Tenure is often rewarded with envy and valued as part of an accomplished lifestyle. Staying the course is often held up as a symbol of success and as exhausting as it may be, it’s always perceived more favorably…
The average full-time worker loses more than 50 hours every month due to workplace distractions and that’s not even considering distractions outside of work. This is a lot! If you think that’s not you, then maybe this will resonate, the average person gets interrupted every 8 minutes at work, which can be up to 60…
Mindfulness is a skill that can be learned by anyone; you don’t need to be a specific type of person to be good at it and nor do you need to hold certain beliefs for it to be effective for you. As one of my teachers told me, “You don’t have to like it, you…
Busyness is not a virtue, nor is it a sign of productivity. And nowadays it’s also not a guaranteed sign of success either. In London, I used to work with a retail CEO who regularly reminded me that if anyone said they were very busy or too busy, it was a sign they hadn’t yet…
So often I find myself explaining to clients that the first step in overcoming their hurt or disappointment is accepting the situation, and their part in how they got there. And for many that is the hardest part of their transformation because self-acceptance requires you to recognize your imperfections and accept them for what they…
Beware the gap between achieving and re-focusing your energies on new goals. For every person who sets goals, there inevitably comes a time when they need to review them, tick them off and set some more goals. And I am no different. The past 3 months have been incredibly productive for me, and I have…
As we near the end of the financial year, it is customary to plan to celebrate the last financial year with colleagues, and for good reason. Celebrations enable you to take stock, acknowledge your contribution and it provides you with hope for the future. It shows appreciation and provides an opportunity for connection. If you…
I remember the days when the office health and safety officer would walk the office floor and let people know if their clutter, usually papers, were considered a trip hazard or worse. As part of the conversation, they would also be given a timeframe by when it needed to tidied up, either by shredding it,…
The focus on sleep continues to grow. Whether you see it reported in the press, on TV or in a social media post, the message is clear – sleep is extremely important. Sleep is a dynamic activity that we need, to sustain our daily functioning and our physical and mental health. The quality of your…
You might remember back when you were a child to how your mother or carer always told you to stop crying. You’ve probably heard a parent at some time in your life tell you, “Stop that crying, it doesn’t do any good” or “Stop crying or else I’ll give you something to cry about!” The…
The world is moving on post-pandemic and face to face networking events are returning. For the confident extrovert that’s music to their ears. For the socially anxious it can be a terrifying thought. Of course, we’re all a little out of practice thanks to working from home and attending events online but it won’t take…
There is enough to stress about in life without adding the stress of regret. Regret is a normal emotional experience which arises when you are dissatisfied with an outcome, when you perceive that a better outcome was available to you. Another way of considering regret is that it is a painful emotion, accompanied by actual or…
Are you concerned that a mental health diagnosis for you would sound the end of your career? If you are concerned that having a mental health diagnosis will negatively impact your career opportunities, you needn’t be. I have been fortunate enough to work with many successful people who have had mental health diagnoses and in…
When was the last time you were relaxed enough to laugh at something? Not just any laugh, but one of those deep belly laughs that reduced you to tears! If you are among the many adults who have a hard time relaxing, you’ll be surprised to know that there are real health benefits to laughing,…
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you are ever going to have. It influences your other relationships, and it sets the tone for how you treat yourself and allow others to treat you. Your second most important relationship, if you want to do well, is how you manage stressors. Stress…
Intuitively you know that stress and sleep are closely linked yet your inability to combine these two areas of knowledge can prevent you from taking either of them seriously. In this article I am going to take you through how they impact each other so you understand the risk of not dealing with either. What…
Work-related stress occurs when the perceived demands of your work exceed your belief that you are able and capable to meet them. It can be easy to under-estimate the impact of your daily work stress however beware as work-related stress is the second most common compensated illness/injury in Australia, after musculoskeletal disorders. You are experiencing stress when you…
You may not think much about waking up during the night, however if it becomes a regular occurrence, e.g. 4 out of 7 nights for a couple of weeks, then you may want to investigate it further. If normal sleep doesn’t return after a week then you are starting to embed a new sleep pattern…
Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time. Afterall there are always going to be unexpected circumstances that come up in life that leave you feeling more worried, scared, or anxious than usual. Experiencing anxiety is part of being human and it may surprise you to hear that it is a normal process designed to get…
Do you often find yourself saying ‘It’s not that bad, it could be worse’, or you might even catch yourself saying to a friend, “I don’t like my job but at least I have one!” These are both examples of toxic positivity. What is the meaning of toxic positivity? Toxic positivity is defined as the act…
If you have been doing the same things every morning for years and are happy with it because it totally empowers you and puts you in a positive and optimistic frame of mind every time, then you probably don’t need a new or updated morning routine. However, if you could do with some extra energy,…
It’s that time of year when aspiring individuals reflect on the past year and re-focus on how to make positive changes this coming year. Recognising what worked and what didn’t. Not going to be you? Think carefully about your decision. By deciding not to set goals you’re setting yourself up to another year of the…
Have you considered your goals for 2022 yet? Goals provide an objective standard to which you can evaluate your success. They also help you stay motivated and provide focus to increase the likelihood of you reaching those goals. Some people think the planning stage is boring and unnecessary but even successful people who prefer the…
The holiday season is always a time of great excitement, thankfulness, and (hopefully) relaxation, but there are also a variety of reasons why the most wonderful time of the year may leave some feeling stressed out. During the holidays, it’s important to monitor your stress levels and ensure that you’re having an enjoyable and restful…
If the thought of social get-togethers leave you feeling anxious, then you need to learn how fight or flight works in your body, so you can calm your fight or flight response when you’re with others. These holidays you may be catching up on socializing, and you may even be celebrating the holidays in large…
Are you feeling sad about the upcoming summer holidays because they’re going to look different to what you thought they might be? Perhaps you’re unable to meet up with friends and family you haven’t seen for a while due to travel restrictions, or perhaps this time of year is just a sad time for you…
It’s no secret that people who speak up at work are viewed as more likeable by their peers, enjoy higher status and are perceived to be better performers by those more senior than them (Burris, 2012; Weiss & Morrison, 2019). Often staying quiet and ignoring your feelings is an adaptive response to blending in and not…
How many times have you got cranky with yourself for not speaking up? Or perhaps, you chose not to say something in an effort to avoid a difficult conversation. In my experience working with smart, well-mannered people, this is a common problem. Jenny loved her job. She thought her manager was a wonderful person and she’d…
In order to prevent unhealthy stress at work you need a toolkit of quick and easy, trusted stress relief activities that you can do on your own to move you along your stress curve. It’s no secret that work-related stress contributes to corporate inefficiency, high staff turnover, absenteeism, decreased quality and quantity output and increased…
Being a perfectionist is like living with an internal genie. A genie that never sleeps. It constantly reminds you that only the best is good enough, continuous improvement is mandatory, giving up is not an option and nobody likes someone who brags. It’s an exhausting place to be. The funny thing is that for many…
If you’re like most people who struggle to make changes and make them a habit, then you’re always on the lookout for a better way to achieve your goals. But it seems like you’re setting yourself up for disappointment each time. In this article I am going to show you how you can make the…
Ever felt like if you had to make another decision your head would explode? That’s sign you need to declutter your mind. Decluttering your life and becoming organized starts with one important but easily-overlooked step. You need to declutter your mind first. If your home and office looked anything like mine last week, it is…
If changing habits were easy, there wouldn’t be so many books written on the topic and I would be out of a job! As you notice signs of the loosening of lockdown, you can allow yourself to imagine your life post lockdown. While you may have struggled through the physical distancing, reduced socialising and managing…
Upheaval. We’ve all experienced it. Sometimes it comes at us from outside, completely and utterly beyond our control. Think about pandemics, tornadoes, or stock market crashes. Sometimes it hits very close to home, such as when someone you love receives a terrifying diagnosis, or when you experience a death in the family. Picture for a…
It’s often easier said than done. Setting and maintaining boundaries can be hard when others are accustomed to you not having any. Whether we like to admit it or not, people take advantage of other people. In my practice I have seen an increase in professionals seeking assistance for languishing and falling out of love…
We all have our own set of values that guide our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Often, we don’t acknowledge them until someone has crossed that invisible line. Having an awareness of your values can be positive as they’re incredibly helpful to make good choices. However, there’s also a risk of getting over-enthusiastic and expecting yourself…
Having successfully navigated several milestones and transitions in your life, you’re finally able to enjoy the fruits of your labour without the angst. But, then, out of the blue, a trusted friend suggests counselling. You feel anger rising to your throat, there’s nothing wrong! I’m not ill. Or are you? Before you shut the conversation down,…
Your body is a marvelous creation! It speaks to you when it’s doing great, and it also speaks to you when things aren’t so wonderful. And that’s the beauty of it – your body gives a ton of signals to let you know it’s in need of something so you can do what’s necessary to…
Everyone has their own ‘go-to’ strategies for maintaining healthy mental health however when we experience sustained stress, those strategies may no longer be enough. Even the most disciplined, may struggle and, need to consider additional strategies to maintain their overall wellbeing. As a psychotherapist I speak to a number of people every day who are…
As I write this, I am reminded of a well-known retreat leader who started a 7-day silent retreat with, “I have no plans of what to talk about this week, you each have needs and so I am going to use the emerging curriculum to guide our experience together.” Well, you can imagine the looks…
Everyone said 2021 was going to be a better year. And it certainly looked like it until a couple of months ago. My hometown of Sydney has been in lockdown for a number of weeks and it has forced me to re-evaluate how I set my goals, as some of them won’t be met, and…
This Sydney lockdown, I have found myself itching to craft and colour. Something I haven’t done in a while. Last week I dusted off my colouring pencils and printed off some mandalas and set about colouring for a couple of hours. It was heavenly! Mindful colouring burst onto the scene almost 20 years ago and…
Do you ever doubt yourself? Do you doubt you can do whatever it is you’ve set out to do? It’s perfectly normal. We all do it. Self-doubt is something anyone faces at some point in their life. And for some of us it can be a real struggle. When self-doubt – which is defined as…
Have you ever held back on saying something because you didn’t want to upset someone else? If you’re unsure whether to make that ask, provide that feedback or be vulnerable, listen to that indecision – take a moment to decide what to do next. The internal debate that happens can be useful when your intention…
In psychoanalytic theory, a defence mechanism is an unconscious psychological process that occurs to protect a person from anxiety-producing thoughts and feelings related to internal conflicts and outer stressors. The goal of these defence mechanisms is to separate the person from the unpleasant events, actions, or thoughts. They help people to distance themselves from threats…